626 Deviations 1,499 Comments 290,310 Pageviews 63 Scraps 1,785 Watchers 0 Critiques 1 Forum Post 390 Favourites
This deviant's pageview graph is hidden.
Last Visit Unknown
This deviant's activity is hidden.
Deviant since Apr 3, 2006 | Core Member until Jan 23, 2018
This is the place where you can personalize your profile!
By moving, adding and personalizing widgets.
You can drag and drop to rearrange.
You can edit widgets to customize them.
The bottom has widgets you can add!
Some widgets you can only access when you get Core Membership.
Some widgets have options that are only available when you get Core Membership.
We've split the page into zones!
Certain widgets can only be added to certain zones.
"Why," you ask? Because we want profile pages to have freedom of customization, but also to have some consistency. This way, when anyone visits a deviant, they know they can always find the art in the top left, and personal info in the top right.
Don't forget, restraints can bring out the creativity in you!
Now go forth and astound us all with your devious profiles!
I'm guessing you're wondering why I'm making more status post than I am actual submissions or journals. Well, the short answer is that, "I just haven't made anything worth posting here yet." The long answer? Well, get comfortable, cause I'll be flapping my yap to you for a while.
For the past year or so, I've been struggling with a lot of things in my real life, and even in my social life on the internet. Why just the internet? Well, I hardly have any real social life outside of the computer sometimes. I simply don't have the money to travel, or to even afford a car. I could afford a bike... If i didn't by the wrong one! So many HILLS!! That's besides the point though.
My health isn't exactly the best out there, It's not sickly, hell no. But, having bad teeth is part of it. :/ As far as being mentally sound, That's been the main issue as a lot of events has pushed me to limits that I never even knew I had, or even past that. It also doesn't help that I'm living in a rather toxic environment, with the only person I ever trusted with anything being dead, and having only two people that only contribute to my failures in life. It's really like I never left high school: Was always bullied and threatened there, but now, it's only one person... And I can't do anything about it, as far as I know. Mix that with a lot of short comings, unfortunate events, and Financial troubles, you have the most uninspired year of your life.
But, it's not always so bad, which leads me to the meat of this. The most important thing I want to talk about...
This right here.
Back then, I wanted to try making something special to do every year. A self fabricated celebration, of my creation, and the creations of dear friends and family that surround me in my digital life. I've gone a long way, coming to meet many many different faces, helping people with their problems, helping them grow, and helping to encourage them, first and foremost. It sounds like a lot of fluff, but I take pride in my friends, I believe in them, even if I don't show it very often. I KNOW I'm not perfect myself. I have trust issues due to my lifestyle, I tend to think way too negatively time to time and it makes me angsty as fuck, I even tend to miss things and forget things a lot, and since I have confidence issues even, I put myself down... A lot... But, even then, I try to push and believe in myself, for them. I got this sense of pride, when I met the first few people that ever gave me encouragement with my art, and with my ideas. Those people I see and talk to today, and not a day goes by that I ever forget what they've done for me. That feeling is what inspires me to make things worth putting here on DA. Every little experience, every little feeling when we talk, every positive emotion goes into my own works, and THAT is what I want people to see, no matter what happens between us all.
Even now, as I sit here, thinking about the past, thinking about even the people I once knew, friend or foe... I still say "Thank you." Thank you for even being a part of my life, and I hope you find what you're looking for. No amount of emotion will ever change that thought.
I'm near the end of this journal now, so I thank you too for getting this far. But now, why am I not posting new pictures?
I'm not really inspired, or even that confident. I even got a lot of back up from last year and so on, So I plain and simply just have to finish it, and I'll put THOSE works in here. It's my obligation to since a lot of it is commissions. But, I have plans afterwards... Since it's a new year, I'm feeling hopeful that it will be an even better one than the last.